I QUIT!!!!!

Well, the week of house cleaning has come to an end, with an entire floor of the house untouched. I've decided I'm done. No more cleaning. No more straightening. No more simplifying. I'm done!!! The only problem is...all that simplifying has left the basement a disaster...and that's where I live!! Not the brightest cookie in the sky, am I. It's time like these when I wish I had a camera for the before and after shots. You would not believe the difference in the girls' rooms. I'm not even sure they will believe it. While there were no major renovations such as paint or knocking down walls, I quick change of furniture and all the clothes off the floor has made a huge impact.

I've continued to do some emotional and spiritual house cleaning as well. It has not been easy and I have gone through an entire box of kleenex, but I feel internally lighter. I need to allow myself to feel sad about situations that are sad. I need to grieve when I am wounded or when I see others wounded. I need to put on a tearful, hurt, sad face sometimes instead of always trying to keep my chin up. I need to allow others to comfort me, even if I don't fully trust the process anymore. I need not take responsibility for the lives of others or their decline. That is up to them. It is not up to me to do all I can to make sure they are safe and to take on all the burdens I can carry so they won't have to (that's a hard one).

What does all this mean? I'm not exactly sure. I think there will be some visible changes to how I spend my time. I think I need to take a hard look at all the things I am involved in and ask myself why I am there. (That's scary for me). I need to have some difficult conversations with people I love and who love me (no, not you!). Then there are a ton of other things I need to do that I don't even know yet. Above all else, I need to make room in my life to experience the love of God, from him directly to me. Not a time of prayer for others. Not seeking his direction for this or that. Simply a time for him to love me.......That will make all the difference.