ahh, Mondays

So I've taken today off so I can have a four day weekend. What was I thinking???? The grand plan was to simplify the house....declutter, clean, throw stuff out, etc. How much of that has been done? 0 that's how much. It's been a complete wash. I've been tired and lazy and gone to meetings and hospitals and seen family, but no cleaning!!!

It started me to wonder how people who are starving or are in the middle of a war do it. I don't have any of that and I can't get off the couch. Maybe they have motiviation because their lives depend on it, I don't know. But this sitting in the lap of luxury isn't working to motivate me so very well.

Did I mention I'm starting to feel sick again??? Not so happy about that one.

ahh, Mondays

So I've taken today off so I can have a four day weekend. What was I thinking???? The grand plan was to simplify the house....declutter, clean, throw stuff out, etc. How much of that has been done? 0 that's how much. It's been a complete wash. I've been tired and lazy and gone to meetings and hospitals and seen family, but no cleaning!!!

It started me to wonder how people who are starving or are in the middle of a war do it. I don't have any of that and I can't get off the couch. Maybe they have motiviation because their lives depend on it, I don't know. But this sitting in the lap of luxury isn't working to motivate me so very well.

Did I mention I'm starting to feel sick again??? Not so happy about that one.

testing

trying something new

I do love an election!!!

It's November 4th and I am so excited!!!! Today, Americans vote for their next President and I might be more excited than some of them. I'm not sure what's gotten into me, but I can't get enough information. I love hearing the stories of people voting for the first time. I actually cried in my car this morning when I heard about people lined up around city blocks waiting for their chance to vote. It's not even my country!!!!

So, if you see me tomorrow and I'm looking tired, you would be correct. I'm in a hotel room in Saint John tonight and it has cable, which means I get CNN!!! Hurray!!!!

simplifying isn't so simple

I don't know if it's because it's a new academic year or if it's just because it's time, but I feel an intense need to simplify my living space. We have TOO much stuff. It is constantly underfoot. It feels as if it's crawling out of every nook and cranny like the Blob in an old black and white movie. It's as if it has a life of its own and it is daring me to tame it.

My heart is ready to accept the challenge, but my schedule and pocket book want to thwart my efforts. This is probably the busiest fall season I have experienced. It seems like everyday is filled with one appointment or another and each week is different. There seems to be little consistency in my schedule. Some would find that invigorating. I do not. I like predictability. I find freedom in repetitive scheduling. I have found the fall to be extremely challenging: emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I have not had a true sense of equilibrium. I LONG for equilibrium. Repetition brings equilibrium!!!

Thus my current desire for a simplified home where all the contents within are functional and useful. I'm tired of having stuff only for the sake of having stuff. I want to go through all my cupboards and closests and the basement (yikes!) and get rid of everything....like cleaning your house for moving, except without the moving.

So stay tuned. There may be some free stuff posted on here. I would love for my clutter to become your functional and useful tool.

stay tuned

I'm not exactly sure what's happening. I just feel a change happening inside me. It's like.....

• floating in a river and feeling the water all around you and the sun beaming warm on you and hearing birds and water and stillness all at the same time
• my mind wants to engage in the discussion but my heart keeps telling it to be still
• a heaviness in my chest that isn't stress or anxiety and doesn't actually feel that heavy but it's solid, like a firm foundation being built in the core of my being

I really don't know what's going on inside my spirit/heart....I don't think I even want to know. I just want to get out of the way of whatever He is doing and let Him get on with it. I don't know what it's going to look/feel like when He's done.

The only certainty is that it will be beautiful.

It's late. I'm awake....Let's chat!

It's too late for a girl like me to be up. My body is willing to sleep but my brain is not cooperating. So, I thought I would give this a try. Maybe if I get it out of my head and into cyberspace, my brain will leave me alone. My apologies up front for what might come next.

• I think I want to be an American until Nov. 5th, 2008. I want to vote in their election almost as much as I wanted to vote in my own.
• I think I want to beat a number of Americans because they don't want to vote.
• I wonder what it must be like to be Obama or McCain? Do they lay awake at night, their brains racing faster than their bodies or are they so dog tired that they fall off into dreamless sleeps?
• I want smaller boobs...but I don't want to go through surgery or go on a diet.....any ideas?
• I love my children so much that just thinking about them makes me cry....and sometimes I get so frustrated with them that it makes me cry....I cry too much I think.
• If being single is the right choice for me, which I think it is, then why do I feel so lonely?
• Writing a blog seems like a very self-centered thing to do....it's all about me.....look at me! look at me!!! but it's kind of fun, too...it's like an imaginary conversation with a ton of people you can't see or hear but you know they are out there listening and that somehow brings you comfort and spurs you on to the next post no matter how silly or irrelevant it actually it is.
• It is SOOOOOO time for me to find some sleep!!
• I have a sinus infection which really sucks because you look like crap and you feel like crap and you are whiny like a baby but it's only a sinus infection so you get no respect.
• I really want Jesus to be present in my life. I super want Him to take over my community. I look around the room sometimes and I see all the wonderful people he has made. Even the ones I don't know or don't like are wonderfully made and that's the cool thing about him...I just want Him to run me over with a truck full of understanding and love so I can start to get how to REALLY love people.
• I think I have one of the coolest jobs in the world. It's small, but it touches a lot of people.
• I think I have a book downstairs. Maybe I should go read that instead of torturing you all with this???
• OK. It's really time for me to find some sleep!